This will be the third week of this new awareness Kelsey and I are exploring in regards to drinking alcohol. Before all of this, we easily went through 2 or 3 bottles of wine each week, not to mention a fifth of gin or bourbon. We're not sitting around taking shots or guzzling Malbec. We're having an Old Fashioned here and there, or sharing a bottle of wine over dinner. Maybe we're having a glass while we're making dinner. Most likely, we would like a gin and tonic after work. It sounds refreshing to me, anyway. We don't drink much beer these days. I feel bloated from it immediately. So, no more craft IPAs or black IPAs or any kind of PAs. I go light if I go at all. One Stella Artois, please. You know, I was Dude from The Big Lebowski one year for Halloween? I've yet to top it. I went around as Waldo one year, photo bombing pictures of friends and strangers. You'd see some cute faces posing in the front, and I'd be in the corner in the background doing Waldo stuff. What else? Peter Pan, Harry Potter, big nerd. But enough about all of that. I've really gone off this time.
ANYWAY, I do see how intimate conversations with me can sometimes be tough. Although, I'm much better when it's just you and me. If we are in a crowded place though, forget it. I want to listen to you. I do. But there's this light over there, see, and these sounds all around me. Not to mention the smells. It can become very overwhelming, so a little patience is all I ask. This feeling of overstimulation, especially in public - I notice it in some of my family members, too. It's important to recognize these things. If I can figure it out, maybe I can help them figure it out. Okay, I am going back to my original thought now.
We used to drink without thinking about it. I've mentioned before all of the reasons I'd have a drink, other than because I just really wanted one. To refresh, it's things like going out to a restaurant and feeling like I should order more than water, my friends are having a drink, I'm having a nice entree that would pair well with wine, I've had a long day, etc. The list goes on. So now, I'm checking in with myself before I do decide to order a drink, or buy a bottle of something, or fix one for myself. Do I really want this right now? Is this going to contribute anything to my current situation in a positive way? Am I trying to escape or dull or forget? Am I just bored? Maybe it just sounds delicious, but I know I shouldn't because I've consumed too many other empty calories that day, or maybe I've been feeling under the weather and should heal first. There will come a time, when like performing a perfect Squat in strength training, that I will do this naturally. I won't have to go over all the steps in my head. It will just become what I do and how I do it. I already feel like I'm getting better at it. Last week, we went all week without having drinks. We treated ourselves to wine over the weekend, but never more than enough and that was all. No gin. No bourbon. Things that are okay in moderation if you don't have the disease, but should still be monitored closely. We aren't always to be trusted when it comes to doing what we want. We don't always know what's best. We're human and we're beautiful, but we're full of flaws. The best we can do, is to do our best, and hope to do better next time.
I'm very much looking forward to this next week without drinking. I have some exciting opportunities coming up. Things that will help me grow as a person and in my career as a Personal Trainer and Youth Fitness Specialist. I will be sure to keep you posted. The weekend was full of fun and lots of love. We celebrated Kelsey's sister at her baby shower, and ran/walked a 5k in the worst weather imaginable. So many hugs and happiness, and so much laughter. Her family never ceases to make me feel special. Thank you for reading! Enjoy the Halloween pics. Peace and love.
-Steph
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