Often times, I'm not sure what I will write about when I blog. Other times I may have something in mind, but once I get going, realize it doesn't pertain. One thing I would like to make a point of talking about, regardless of its relevance, is this book I'm reading. It's called To Shake The Sleeping Self and it is written by a man by the name of Jedidiah Jenkins. It's his account of his journey with a friend, from Oregon to Patagonia, by bicycle. It took them sixteen months. I'm not quite half way through, but I look forward to reading even just a little bit every day. I started it when I still had yet to finish Ram Dass's Polishing The Mirror, because I was too excited to wait to start. I'd been following him on Instagram for some time and was aware of his trip, but really was just intrigued by how sweet he was. I get to see the world through his pictures and I get to see how he sees the world, which almost makes up for the fact that I can't be there in person. Not with him, just at all. I'm not in love with the guy. In fact, I'd like to bring my gal. Anyway, I've traveled very little in my life, but am excited at the thought. I attribute a lot of my lack of exploration beyond my safe space to my anxiety disorder. I've mentioned it before. People use the term so loosely, that we rarely respect when someone reveals their struggle with it. "Oh, you have anxiety. Doesn't everyone?" The answer to that, is, well yeah, sure. The difference is that not everyone is affected by it the way a person with a disorder is. A person who isn't afflicted often has anxiety linked to stressors that are tied to something in their life. Maybe they are nervous about getting a job, or about starting a new job. They may have a test coming up or car trouble. Anxiety is very similar to depression in this way. Sure, we all feel down at some point or another, just like we all feel anxious. Anxiety and depression, however, need no reason to drop in. You didn't invite them and they have no reason to be in the neighborhood, but they're there. A lot like living with anxiety and depression. They're just there. Sometimes it makes sense, but a lot of the time, it doesn't. And it's so goddamn frustrating, not just for you but for the ones you love. Anyone who loves anyone, hates to see them unhappy. It's important to understand that your loved one isn't doing this to you. They more likely than not, don't feel this way because of you or something that you did or didn't do. You want to help, but the best you can do is be there. Be there the times when they cancel plans on you, and really try to be there when they come through. We're all in this together. Oh, and if you or someone you love does deal with these disorders and/or illnesses, EXERCISE. Eat right, too. I have this client in her teens that struggles with anxiety and depression. She's tired of everyone telling her she'll feel better if she eats healthier and exercises. We have a good relationship. She came out to me a couple of sessions in. I was talking about Kalamazoo Pride and she said, "I'm gay too." That was a big moment for us. Prior she had been so nervous to work out with me, that she'd canceled more than a couple of times and literally had an anxiety attack the first time I came. I sat with her and told her about my issues with anxiety and depression. We bonded. We have a similar sense of humor and in some ways, she reminds me a lot of myself at her age and younger. It means the world to me that I am able to be a supportive person for her. Anyway, I tell her that exercising and eating healthier will make things better. It's like a car. If you don't put gas in it and if it's not the right gas, it will barely function if at all. If you don't drive it for awhile, especially if it's an older car, chances are it may not start back up without assistance. Nurturing your body with real foods and strengthening it with exercise will indeed make things easier. It may not make your kids listen to you or your financial problems go away, but you will be stronger and you'll feel better, and you'll be a lot better able to deal with it. Believe it. Try it. Tell me I'm wrong. And don't just do it to do it. If you're going to spend an hour exercising, make sure you're doing it right. Put in the effort if you want to get something out of it. Whoa. I got way off topic this time.
The book. I love it. He's incredibly easy to read and is a good person. He does good things and he spends his time with good people. I included a link to his instagram if you click on his name above. He's a good influence and he's positive. And my, is he motivating. Once I'm finished, if Kelsey doesn't read it first, I will put it in the bottom drawer of my nightstand, alongside Jon Krakauer and Cheryl Strayed, for those days when I could use a dose of adventure I hope to one day take. Until then, I will work on my corner. I will work on myself. Thank you for reading. Check out Jed! Peace and love.
-Steph
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